Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy Urly New Year Everybody

Both the Saints of New Orleans and the Falcons of Atlanta Lost today. I feel like I was watching the Same Game the way they played and lost. They were both tied at the 4th and both lost to the inferior teams. Panthers and Eagles indeed. At least the Saints ended up SECOND place in the NFC South playoffs this year 2006. Good run anyway, boys. Damn You,Delhomme! *In Captain Kirk Star Trek the Wrath of Khan voice*..."DELHOMMMMMEE!!!" Note: I am trying to make full use of this keyboard's year-end functionality hence the asteriskes, quotation marks, and unecessary exclamation marks.

Oh yeah and fuck that Playstation 3 Hype...I'd rather play Life.

*In the Simpsons' Dr. Nick voice* Happy Urly New Year Everybody!!!*

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The Christmas Truce...Very Cool True Xmas Story

On Christmas Day, 1914, in the first year of World War I, German, British, and French soldiers disobeyed their superiors and fraternized with "the enemy" along two-thirds of the Western Front. German troops held Christmas trees up out of the trenches with signs, "Merry Christmas." "You no shoot, we no shoot." Thousands of troops streamed across a no-man's land strewn with rotting corpses. They sang Chrismas carols, exchanged photographs of loved ones back home, shared rations, played football, even roasted some pigs. Soldiers embraced men they had been trying to kill a few short hours before. They agreed to warn each other if the top brass forced them to fire their weapons, and to aim high.

A shudder ran through the high command on either side. Here was disaster in the making: soldiers declaring their brotherhood with each other and refusing to fight. Generals on both sides declared this spontaneous peacemaking to be treasonous and subject to court martial. By March, 1915 the fraternization movement had been eradicated and the killing machine put back in full operation. By the time of the armistice in 1918, fifteen million would be slaughtered.

Not many people have heard the story of the Christmas Truce. Military leaders have not gone out of their way to publicize it. On Christmas Day, 1988, a story in the Boston Globe mentioned that a local FM radio host played "Christmas in the Trenches," a ballad about the Christmas Truce, several times and was startled by the effect. The song became the most requested recording during the holidays in Boston on several FM stations. "Even more startling than the number of requests I get is the reaction to the ballad afterward by callers who hadn't heard it before," said the radiohost. "They telephone me deeply moved, sometimes in tears, asking, `What the hell did I just hear?'"

I think I know why the callers were in tears. The Christmas Truce story goes against most of what we have been taught about people. It gives us a glimpse of the world as we wish it could be and says, "This really happened once." It reminds us of those thoughts we keep hidden away, out of range of the TV and newspaper stories that tell us how trivial and mean human life is. It is like hearing that our deepest wishes really are true: the world really could be different.

Excerpted from David G. Stratman, We CAN Change the World: The Real Meaning of Everyday Life (New Democracy Books, 1991). Available for $3.00 from New Democracy Books, P.O. Box 427, Boston, MA 02130.

...Share this story if you want to. I dare ya. I JUST found out about this,found it to be true and think its so cool it defies comprehension...Oh yeah...GO SAINTS!!!
I didnt get to see this New York game as I was visiting with me mum at her satellite ( I'm working my day job Christmas day) but 30 to 7 at an away game is a good enough Christmakwanzukah gift for Zhu...yessireebob!!!

...Merry Christmas...Happy Hanukah...Happy Umoja for those that still celebrate Kwanzaa...and Happy December for all the Athiests...I'm American so dont expect me to remember ALL the friggin' religions and non-religions...heeheehee...peace ya'll...

Sunday, December 17, 2006

How? Chemo' Sobby...

The Blessed Saints of New Orleans got Scalped by the Redskins of Washington in the SuperDoom 16-10 ! Particularly distressing as they were on an unprecedented three game win tour. I guess the pit stop at home on the road to seasonal victory did not refresh their passion to win as well as hoped. Still smelling the 42-17 victory in Landry Stadium it is only fitting that they lose at home thanks to Ladell Betts and his tribe of wampum smokums. At least we got the NFC South Division on lock,like thats anything to brag about. I deem the loss karma for re-electing William Jefferson and not getting the levees rebuilt yet. Oh Well. Tough break boys. There's always New York.

In unrelated news. I am rapidly losing blood from several wounds I incurred blessed sunday while bathing my animals for the first time. Must. Find. Gauze.

Guerrilla Laundry. Fin'. So Fresh So Clean.

Laundry Day is Complete! Well at least as far as I am concerned. I have enough scanties and socks to last me through the week so Sunday may now proceed. It's not that I dont trust my neighbors or I'm some horrible recluse its just that in the year I've lived here I've had the police show up at my door mistakenly twice, one babymomma three doors down had her television and sofa thrown out her second floor apartment down to the parking lot by one of her babydaddy's. Not to mention the numerous drunken fights and shouting matches that occur around the holiday season or really any given weekend or weekday. Oh,and did I mention that I cannot get pizza delivered to my satellite as its on a high crime location list circulated by all the delivery restaurants in the area. And I really like delivery service.

There's no real gunplay here but this is the kind of satellite you see on the news when they talk about an apartment fire or a argument turned fatal type of thing. I was hornswaggled into renting this place in a hurry by Chantal the leasing agent who had a booth at the Red Cross evac center last year at the Georgia Dome. It's location is discreet and off of famous Cascade Road near the Beautiful soul food restaurant. Most familiar with urban living would refer to it as "the Cut". Those in surrounding areas refer to it as Zone 4. To me,at least up until March 2007,it is my home away from home in which to rebuild my displaced life. It is my Satellite, hovering over Atlanta, Georgia.

The 19 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Death

#7 is Classic...

1. After being decapitated, the average person remains conscious for an additional 15-20 seconds. Talk about a way to go.

2. Mourning your dear departed cat? You could shave your eyebrows like the ancient Egyptians used to. Then again, maybe a trip to the pet cemetery would be easier.

3. May want to rethink what you bury your loved ones in. An old wives’ tale claims that if a woman is buried wearing the color black, she’ll come back to haunt the family.

4. Speaking of preventing hauntings, yet another old wives tale led to the institution of burial wreaths. It was believed that the wreath would encircle the spirit of the dead person, thereby preventing them from returning from the grave.

5. In 1931, Henry Ford decided to preserve his friend, Thomas Edison’s last dying breath. He kept it in a bottle. Hope he put a label on that one.

6. One of the main reasons cowboys carried pistols in the 1800’s was to avoid being dragged to death by their horse. You think they could have just gotten bigger stirrups.

7. The last words spoken by Union General John Sedgewick were, “They (the Confederate soldiers) couldn’t hit an elephant from this dis…”

8. So much for the curse of good ole King Tut. Despite reports that all twenty-two people who were present at the exhumation kicked the bucket, twenty-one were still kicking ten years later.

9. If someone plans to jump off Mount Everest to commit suicide, you’ll need a lot of patience. It takes the average person 2.5 minutes to hit bottom. And we don’t want to know who timed it.

10. Here’s a job I definitely wouldn’t want to have. When Pyrenees beekeepers die, someone has to go around and splash every single one of their bees with black ink.

11. John Bowman, a tanner from Vermont believed that after his death he would be reincarnated with his pre-deceased wife and children. So, he ordered his house staff to have dinner on the table every night, just in case. They finally stopped in 1950 when the money finally dried up.

12. Think your décor is bad? Oscar Wilde’s last words were, "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go" He fought the wallpaper and the wallpaper won.

13. An old superstition stated that if the doors in the house were locked, the soul of a dying person couldn’t get out.

14. Yet another superstition warns against pointing at a funeral procession, with the dire warning that you’ll die within a month. More proof for that whole three fingers pointing back at you thing.

15. Might want to read the labels a little more carefully. Nearly 2,500 lefties are killed every year using products meant for righties. Who knew? Now, just back away from those right-handed scissors.

16. A pet-parrot caused a ruckus at President Andrew Jackson’s funeral. His crime? Swearing during the ceremony. Guess he should have given Polly just one more cracker.

17. That ballpoint pen? The one you’re chewing on? Might want to put it down. 100 people are killed every year by choking on a ballpoint pen. Which proves the old quote about the pen being mightier than the sword. At least some of the time.

18. Apparently, they really are virtually destructible. A cockroach can reportedly live up to 9 days without it’s head. The only reason they finally kick over? Starvation.

19. And you thought sex appeal was the first to go. Allegedly, it’s actually your sight that goes first when you die. It’s your hearing that’s the last to go…. What was that?

Guerrilla Laundry Pt.2

Apartment house rules: "one man's floor is another man's ceiling."- Bob Dylan.

Okay so the Laundry has made it through the washing phase with no explosions. I went downstairs and their were only 5 children out and 2 crackheads. I recognized the children, they belong to the couple living directly downstairs from me. I know the husband enjoys the football so he must be making arrangements to get them out the house. Their mom sat outside watching them,smoking a Newport. They have been here longer than me and out of all I see here I trust them the most. Greetings are exchanged... "No,my job is not hiring,but I'll keep an ear out..." and wet scanties are placed in the one good dryer. In 45 minutes I wish Laundry Day to be over. The Children appear to be awakening...they like to congregate around the laundry room when they are sent outside...I hope I dont have to trip over a toddler.

Coming Soon...Guerrilla Laundry Part. 3

Guerrilla Laundry Pt. 1

So today is Laundry Day once again. Some of you may ask why is Zhu devoting a second post to laundry. It's a simple non-threatening abolution designed to get you ready for the weeks ahead. Yes it is,but when your housing situation is,ah,lets just say less than perfect, laundry takes on an ugly, survivalist ,tone. I have,or was promised laundry facilities by my rental agent when I was negotiating the lease for my satellite location. Since there are a total of approx. 60 units in my complex and about 20 tenants who have,not including me,at LEAST 5 children between them I expected problems with doing laundry. Knowing that I have been doing laundry down the street at the Laundro/Cleaners.

Today,however,my little '88 Honda hoo-doo has failed me and requires a replaced head gasket so I have been on MARTA all week. Sucks yeah but I have been Gypsy for so long public transpo' really doesnt bother me. I'll let you slaves to the gas pump fret on the inconsistency of the bus,to me its just an hour earlier I have to leave to get where I have to go. Anyway, the Saints of New Orleans, fresh from a 42-17 Win against the Cowboys of Dallas will have there Home Tournament against the Redskins (no relation) of Washington today beginning at 1pm EST and I wish to stay close to home so I will do the Laundry here. This will possibly cause interaction with my neighbors,who only know me as the guy who leaves out of apartment 19 and returns to apartment 19,stopping only to retrieve mail and occasionally hand the often-absentee rental agent the money order for the "rent". I have nothing against children, I was a child once,that helps me to relate to their plight. My concern is their Mischief. I entered the laundry room and found out of the 4 washers,only One looked serviceable,and thats the one I put my socks,undershirts,and scanties,Four quarters and a cup of Liquid Tide later and it appears to be working. I shall now go downstairs to see if it has finished. Yes,this IS as dangerous as I am making it out to be...

Sunday, December 10, 2006

We Fucking Won!!??!!!

We Won???!!?? We Fucking Won!!!?? Holy Shit I wasnt expecting this in a million parsecs!!!There is much to rejoice about in Southern NFL sports entertainment tonight, in this victory, the Saints of New Orleans have just TRIUMPHED over the Cowboys of Dallas, Texas in a winning score of 42-17...In an away game at that!!! It must suck to be a Dallas fan now but oh,well,sporto,at least you tried!!! Now how are the Redskins(no relation) of Washington gonna fare into this temporal anomaly ...? We can only wait and see...GO SAINTS!!!


In the 4th. GO SAINTS!!!!

What if Gotham had no Batman?

I hate to say "I told you so..." But ." I told you so". Incumbent 2nd Congressional District Rep. William"Dollar Bill" Jefferson D-La. has won his seat again,defeating challenger Karen Carter 57-43 in last nights election,proving once again the genius of the New Orleans voter. For those who dont know. Dollar Bill has been a political animal for many a year,I remember being a wee lad growing up in the 7th ward when Dollar Bill won his first seat and began his rise to power in 'dee bayou. I can actually credit my distrust of politicians' from watching old Willie from the sidelines wheel and deal. The man speaks with the eloquence of a jackal charming a gazelle and has the moral flexibility of wheatstraw on a breezy afternoon. To put it simply,I dont think he has my districts best interests in mind. Dollar Bill is also under indictment in a federal corruption probe involving,among other things having $90,000 in marked federal coin in his home's freezer from a bribe in an a tech developement contract he favored in Africa. Power to the People,Bill? Then there's the little thingy about being stripped of his seat on the House Ways and Means Committee by fiery new Majority House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) who says the new Blue House wont tolerate any mucky-mucks like Dollar Bill and his ilk.

But Alas, the People have Spoken, and have said they would rather have a known icky-poo like William Jefferson to represent the fine, upstanding, citizenry of New Orleans than outspoken noob Karen Carter,who sparked a fire under eternal old coot Sheriff Harry Lee with her comments on the Jefferson Parish Sheriffs Office (JPSO) involvement,or lack therof,in helping New Orleans residents escape the Great Wet via the CCC (Crecent City Connection/Miss. River Bridge for all you traditionalists).

So Lee goes out and endorses Jefferson to spite Carter and her remarks and the Honourable C. Ray(z) Nagin endorses him to repay Jefferson for backing him in his own closely watched May re-election this year,and the mindless sheeple of New Orleans goes right along with it. Laissez-faire,Cher. Paybacks and Spite. Yep, thats what got Dollar Bill re-elected. Like I said, he's a political animal. But does that make us his Prey?

Well not me. Not anymore. I have found a new home for the time being in the Great City of Atlanta,where all I have to worry about is the I-285 traffic (not fun) ,the Atlanta Falcons' passing game and undercover policemen doing home invasions on 90 year old grandmothers in botched drug raids. The police chief in Atlanta is none other than Richard "No Comment" Pennington formerly of New Orleans crimefighting fame and the Falcons' coach is a guy named Jim Mora who has never coached the Saints (but his dad did). Not to mention good old ex- Saints placekicker Morten Anderson will more than likely finish his career as an Atlanta Falcon... I dont like to dwell on that much as it disturbs me when I do.

Paybacks and Spite,People. That's what makes this country great. Keeps the wheels of democracy greased and what a fine oiled machine it is. I shall look forward to watching the Decline and Fall of my City following the first Flushing by the Great Wet that was Katrina De'shae Boucree'-Gavion-Charbonnet. I didnt vote in the 2nd district election only because I believe that having been in Atlanta for one year now and will be paying Georgia State tax this upcoming tax season I can only be a spectator slash critical observer of the City's reconstruction. Dollar Bill Jefferson,Mayor C. Ray(z) Nagin, Police Chief Warren Lie-ly and Governor Kathleen Blank-Ho and the rest of their ilk will have my City a Rotted Carcass on the Savannah that is America after they have picked off all the meat for their own private coffers and will leave her Bones to bleach in the warmth of the Sun. And THAT is Nat'rally N'Awlins ,ya'll.